A Two-Way Street

I have noticed something changing slowly as over the years as I have pursued bodywork aggressively. People’s responses to me are warmer and more attentive.

In the mainstream cognitive and behavioral tradition, a basic premise is that if we do something different, the responses of others will change. A story that ¬†epitomes this is by Albert Ellis of REBT fame. He relates a time as a young man feeling bad about not having a date. So he resolved simply to ask every young woman he met at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. He did get a date, but it seems unlikely peoples responses really changed–he was simply working the numbers. One cannot imagine that his real enjoyment increased.

I am a naturally reserved person and have always struggled with doing the ‘out-going’ thing. In fact, I have not yet taken it up. The different response I am getting is not because I am doing anything different but rather I am being something different. And by being different I certainly don’t mean thinking something different!. My hunch is it involves vibration. The appearance of the face could also contribute. Now the combination of this warmer attention and stronger desire and energy is starting to lead to different responses from me, but not from trying or conscious planning. For things to change it is necessary not just to do something different but to experience something different, and to change experience the body has to change.

Michael Samsel

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One Response to A Two-Way Street

  1. anon says:

    I have had similar experiences myself. You begin to emanate a positive, warm vibe and naturally people are drawn to it and very receptive. The most astounding thing about it is that you aren’t consciously doing anything, you’re literally being. I believe it has a lot to do with your vibrational or energetic state, meditative state mentally, muscular relaxation, facial expression (no longer tense, instead natural, more smiling–particularly with the eyes), eyes brighten and pupils dilate quite a bit and you have a healthy glow to your face. There’s a lot more but that is how I feel it manifests in the body from personal experience.

    I just found your reich and lowen therapy site and your blog, here. I look forward to reading through the archives as I’m looking to takeup bodywork in order to heal myself and improve my interpersonal skills.

    I’m glad you’ve put up these sites as there doesn’t seem to be many resources for bioenergetics aside from books.

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