I have noticed something changing slowly as over the years as I have pursued bodywork aggressively. People’s responses to me are warmer and more attentive.
In the mainstream cognitive and behavioral tradition, a basic premise is that if we do something different, the responses of others will change. A story that epitomes this is by Albert Ellis of REBT fame. He relates a time as a young man feeling bad about not having a date. So he resolved simply to ask every young woman he met at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. He did get a date, but it seems unlikely peoples responses really changed–he was simply working the numbers. One cannot imagine that his real enjoyment increased.
I am a naturally reserved person and have always struggled with doing the ‘out-going’ thing. In fact, I have not yet taken it up. The different response I am getting is not because I am doing anything different but rather I am being something different. And by being different I certainly don’t mean thinking something different!. My hunch is it involves vibration. The appearance of the face could also contribute. Now the combination of this warmer attention and stronger desire and energy is starting to lead to different responses from me, but not from trying or conscious planning. For things to change it is necessary not just to do something different but to experience something different, and to change experience the body has to change.